Welcome to the Just Get Hired Newsletter!

You probably know this already: the #1 best way to get a new job is through your network. That doesn’t mean you can’t get one without a network, but it makes it a lot easier.

I wrote an in-depth newsletter about how to build your network here a while back, but still get tons of questions about how someone can improve their networking ability. It’s challenging because networking is essentially just a complicated relationship and human connection challenge — there’s no objective way to be “right or wrong” when doing it.

But in today’s issue, I’ll be sharing a recent story of a friend and a very specific hack she used (and you can use too) to improve your networking ability.

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And if you find value in this weekly newsletter, please share with any friends or colleagues going through a job search — you have a unique code at the bottom of this email that you can share to track your referrals (for future prizes!).

Let’s get into it.

Networking and feeling transactional

A friend came to me recently looking for advice. She saw a job opening that she was interested in and realized that an old professor from school worked at the company with the opening.

She wanted to use that connection to get a referral, but wasn’t super close to the professor. They hadn’t talked in some time.

Sound familiar? This is a VERY common experience for job seekers. Rarely is the person that might provide a referral for you a close friend. They’re typically “weak ties”: former classmates, colleagues, professors, friend of a friend, casual acquaintance, etc.

The challenge here is nobody wants to feel like a relationship is transactional. You’ve probably experienced that too — some old friend or colleague or person comes out of the blue after not caring about you all, but now they suddenly “want something”. Not a great feeling.

So what should you do in this situation? How do you navigate “re-activating” an old connection in order to help you in your job search.

There’s a simple hack I use all the time — below is how to use it.

How to get help without it feeling transactional

The first thing to recognize that is people, on average, are WAY more willing to help you than you might think. Giving, supporting, helping feels good to most people.

So as long as you approach it right, people are going to be PUMPED to help you.

The first step is to kick off with a simple email or text (depending on how well you know them or depending on what forum you think is best) and ask to catch up, hear how they’re doing and learn more about the thing they’re doing (that relates to the job you’re interested in). You’re not asking them for a referral. Just to “learn more”.

Then, once you talk to them, here’s the playbook:

Step 1: Don’t ask THEM for help

Step 2: Ask them for their advice on how to GET help

Here’s what that looks like:

❌ “Hey can you refer me to this job?”

✅ “What do you think is the best way to position myself well for this job?”

Sounds pretty similar right?

But the difference is MASSIVE. It’s a huge change in human psychology. Let me break it down for you.

1) People prefer to be generous rather than obligated

When you ask directly for help, you put them in an awkward spot where they may feel obligated to do something for you.

They also might feel trapped. If you say “hey can you refer me to this job?”, they have two options:

1. Agree and refer you (great)

2. Or “reject” you or disappoint you because they can’t or don’t want to help

Nobody likes the feeling of rejecting people. And even if they do help you, they don’t get that “warm and fuzzy feeling” because they felt obligated to do so.

In contrast, if allow them to provide unsolicited help, they get to feel generous and giving. They get to feel those warm and fuzzies.

2) People invest more after giving advice

If someone tells you to do XYZ to better position yourself, the result of those efforts now reflect on them.

They don’t want you to do what they recommend and then NOT get the job…because then it implies their advice was bad.

This means they will organically become more invested in supporting you along the way to help ensure their advice (and you) succeed.

3) People like to help people that help themselves

When you ask for advice / guidance on what to do instead of a “shortcut” to what you want (just asking them to give you a referral), it signals a desire to do what needs to be done to get what you want.

You’re not asking for a handout — or for someone that may not know you that well or certainly may not know your skill set / qualifications that well to vouch for you.

Someone like that has a lot of self awareness and work ethic.

People naturally respect that and feel more willing to support that person.

…

Oh and here’s the best part of it all:

If there is a way for them to directly help you as part of that advice, more often than not they are going to choose to do that ANYWAY.

For example: “well the best way for you to position yourself would be for me to refer you, I’d be happy to do that”.

Here’s to building your network and getting more referrals!

Speaking of referrals, if you get value out of my content, you can help by sharing the link below and getting credit for referrals :)

I appreciate you in advance!

-Ben